Just had the most wonderful weekend away with our neices - proper soul food and feel refreshed and revitalised! They are just the most wonderful kids - funny, clever, warm, loving, totally unique and beautiful individuals... We revel in their company and the four of us always have such a giggly, brilliant time. After I have been renewed by them and their wisdom, I feel much better about things as I know they will get cousins one way or another - one day.
Sunday 7 September 2008
A weekend in fine company
Just had the most wonderful weekend away with our neices - proper soul food and feel refreshed and revitalised! They are just the most wonderful kids - funny, clever, warm, loving, totally unique and beautiful individuals... We revel in their company and the four of us always have such a giggly, brilliant time. After I have been renewed by them and their wisdom, I feel much better about things as I know they will get cousins one way or another - one day.
Tuesday 2 September 2008
why not us?!!
Lordy, today is one of those days, I think. We had a fabulous big BBQ/party for everyone in our village on Saturday with loads of people and loads of fun, going on until the early hours. We both had a great time, though we had to field the usual 'so when are you two going to hurry up and have babies?' questions. We have taken to telling everyone the truth, that we're trying (not to get desperate about it) and have been for a while. Lots of people get floored by that, most say 'oh, it'll definitely happen for you, I just know it will, you two will make the best parents' before changing the subject. Unfortunately making the best prospective parents doesn't seem to make a difference in this crazy game.
And today...R woke up very glum and I stirred sleepily to ask him if he was ok. He had had another dream that I was pregnant (a recurring theme for both of us) and was really devastated to wake up and find it was 'just a dream' - a bit like an adult version of those piles-of-Christmas-presents or massive-chocolate-cake dreams. This put me in a weirdish mood which followed me around a little on this wet and windy day. I went to see my godson this afternoon which cheered me up no end. When his mum was pregnant with him we kept saying we'd 'do pregnancy together', yet my baby bump failed to materialise. We both hoped I'd catch her up throughout the pregnancy, but the months went by. Now her little boy is approaching his first birthday and she's planning another!! This has happened with quite a few of my friends, some of who had been planning and some who had a serendipitous surprise arrive in their womb. What I have become a master at is having the right face for the occasion - whilst I am, truly and honestly, over the moon for my wonderful and deserving friends, I cry a little internal tear for us. Selfish? Maybe...I still can't work that one out.
Well, I was saved from the silly face this evening when some very good friends we've been out of touch with, emailed to say that they had a baby due in 2 months. I can't tell you how happy I am for them and we both laughed out loud with happiness as they will truly make the best parents - such warm-hearted and fun-loving souls they are. But we're sad and neither is quite voicing it to the other. R just said 'I so want a baby' which is a bit of a mantra chez us, and then he took the dog out for a walk for some quiet time. Facebook threw one at me too, with photos of my ex's beautiful new baby, his second child.
We had this conversation on Sunday, one we go over and over, about how easy making a baby seems for most people. The way people say 'straight after we married the kids came along' or 'they weren't planned but it just happened' or 'I stopped taking the Pill and next month I was pregnant!'. And we sometimes say 'why not us?!'. I think it is ok to be a little down about it now and then.
And today...R woke up very glum and I stirred sleepily to ask him if he was ok. He had had another dream that I was pregnant (a recurring theme for both of us) and was really devastated to wake up and find it was 'just a dream' - a bit like an adult version of those piles-of-Christmas-presents or massive-chocolate-cake dreams. This put me in a weirdish mood which followed me around a little on this wet and windy day. I went to see my godson this afternoon which cheered me up no end. When his mum was pregnant with him we kept saying we'd 'do pregnancy together', yet my baby bump failed to materialise. We both hoped I'd catch her up throughout the pregnancy, but the months went by. Now her little boy is approaching his first birthday and she's planning another!! This has happened with quite a few of my friends, some of who had been planning and some who had a serendipitous surprise arrive in their womb. What I have become a master at is having the right face for the occasion - whilst I am, truly and honestly, over the moon for my wonderful and deserving friends, I cry a little internal tear for us. Selfish? Maybe...I still can't work that one out.
Well, I was saved from the silly face this evening when some very good friends we've been out of touch with, emailed to say that they had a baby due in 2 months. I can't tell you how happy I am for them and we both laughed out loud with happiness as they will truly make the best parents - such warm-hearted and fun-loving souls they are. But we're sad and neither is quite voicing it to the other. R just said 'I so want a baby' which is a bit of a mantra chez us, and then he took the dog out for a walk for some quiet time. Facebook threw one at me too, with photos of my ex's beautiful new baby, his second child.
We had this conversation on Sunday, one we go over and over, about how easy making a baby seems for most people. The way people say 'straight after we married the kids came along' or 'they weren't planned but it just happened' or 'I stopped taking the Pill and next month I was pregnant!'. And we sometimes say 'why not us?!'. I think it is ok to be a little down about it now and then.
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